Woke up with "shank a bitch" mode fully engaged, so that's fun. Meds don't work when the visitor shows so I'm completely unbalanced just in time to deal with my wackadoo family members for Christmas. Already picked a fight with hubby, mom, and grandma today. Pretty set on telling my cousin that since his mother didn't even want to see him before she died why tf does he think any of the rest of us want him around. Mom doesn't want me to cause "you didn't hear that first hand" meaning that she knows that her brother will know she told me about it. But you gotta be a pretty garbage person to make the sweetest woman I've ever known want to not see you, her only child, before she died. And not only that but for her to tell my uncle that any money that comes from her side of the family in the form of inheritance for her son is to be donated to the humane society as she didn't want him to get a penny. I wish a mofo would hit me, nothing would make me happier than having his ass thrown in jail for assault and battery. We didn't do Christmas last year but the year before he was trying to talk to my kids about his Hitler youth white supremacy brainwash bullshit and I was very very close to escorting him out of the house with my grandpa's shotgun before hubby talked me down. Hell if I even say a word about anything to anyone mom and gma come in to tell me I'm being crazy and making a scene. He made fun of my oldest that year too and called him gay for wearing a necklace #3 made him. #1 didn't even know what that meant but he sure as shit knew my cousin was being a bully and that that was an insult. But how dare I speak up for my kid. Our family members died fighting in WWII. My grandpa lost his uncle on Normandy. He was literally a kid, he lied about his age when he enlisted, he was only 16, but he wanted to be like his big brothers and fight for something he believed in. He died on DDay at 19. It absolutely destroyed my grandpa's family, George was the baby and none of them ever really were able to move past his loss. My grandpa would be absolutely furious if he had lived long enough to see this shit from him and my shit bag cousin would have been disowned and banned from the property by now for sure, at the absolute least. They want to say me literally saying anything is causing a scene? I'll show them a fucking scene. If I had a penis it wouldn't even be a question but God forbid a woman speak up against a man, even if he's fucking insane and trying to spread his bullshit ideals to my kids. I always forget that we should just internalize everything and then talk shit behind their backs when they're not around, instead of standing up against the bullshit. Its the "polite" thing to do apparently.
Part of me just wants to say fuck it, we're not going. That's what hubby wants me to do. But that feels like letting the asshole win.