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@Lil Dab
It's
batten down the hatches.
Pretty much the only buttoning I had to deal with in the Navy was those 13 chances to say no on my crackerjack uniform, the dress blues.
I had three sets of dress blue cracker jacks. All three were tailored. I had one set that was only taken out and worn for inspections. One was for normal use. And one that was custom tailored with attributes that were not authorized.
We call them our Liberty Crackerjacks. The buttons on the pants were nonfunctional and zippers replaced them. All the piping was custom stitched with some silk like thread that shined and was extremely white. And naturally I had some custom embroidery work done on the inside of my cuffs, so that when I rolled them back it showed off the embroidery. It was just some pretty wicked Chinese Dragons.
Those Liberty Crackerjacks were absolutely totally devastating on
landlocked lassies! They definitely saw it coming, but they still couldn't resist!
When I was temporary assigned to the Dallas recruiting district when my father was ill, I put people in the Navy! One of my absolute favorite hunting spots was the Mall.......... which was less than two miles from the office!
The problem was that I had to try to
not attract young females!
I never did figure out how to do that!
It was actually a double edged sword. Naturally, sometimes I would just get plain distracted!
Other times I was about to close on convincing this kid to come back to the office and do a pretest and then some pretty little thing or a couple pretty little things would interrupt and I would lose the close.
Then there would be those quite sweet times when I was intentionally talking to young women, for
personal reasons.
A guy would see me talking with two or three or more girls and after the girls left , the guy would come over and ask how often that occurred. I'd set that hook and reel him in
! Over that 6 or 7 months period of time, I snagged 10 to 15 using that technique! 
To be honest with you guys, I was absolute and utter SLUT
during that period of time. I want to put the most amount of people in the Navy I could and I did my normal pouring myself into the job.
I was using the recruiting and the women to take my mind off my Dad's condition. I was pretty proud of my Pop. Although he fought hard the entire time during the treatments, he had already come to terms with what the likely outcome would be. All he did was think about Mom and try to make sure things were going to be the best they could after his passing for Mom.
I took him to three of his treatments in the beginning. That was really really rough for me! I tried my best to put on a face and act like it was just another doctor's appointment, but my Dad knew me all too well! Mom told me many years later That he thought it was a bit too rough on me. Mom was there by his side for everything after that.
I do think that Avoidance I'm coming to terms with his condition, really screwed with me and grieving for him. While I do deeply appreciate the Navy sending me home to work while he was fighting, I was back on a plane to my duty station in Hawaii just a few days after the funeral. And it was less than a week When I was thrown into a particularly difficult assignment that absolutely mandated how all emotions be left at home.
And that was status quo for the remaining 5 years!
When I finally got transferred to my last shipboard command, I did get to stop off at home during the transition. It had been almost four and a half years since I saw his grave. At least I did get a good two hours of bawling and squalling at the grave site. And then it was off to the new command. Was a frocked E7 And instead of utilizing my steam plant propulsion experience , they decide to use one of my secondary NEC's Cryogenics to make oxygen for the pilots. But in typical Navy fashion, that was not the only thing I was responsible for! Basically, anything that wasn't directly propulsion related equipment and was still part of engineering, was my responsibility. And own an aircraft carrier, that is a ridiculous amount of things!
I definitely didn't have a whole lot of guys! Only two had actually been to sea! I did have an E-5 and an E-6 that I could assign them a job and not worry about it, for the most part. I have no idea what the prior Chief Did, but he sure as hell didn't do any damn training! Generally, for the most part E-7s Are pretty much a supervisory position only. Division officers tend to frown on E-7s actually doing physical work. Luckily, I had a decent Division officer and an outstanding and the Chief Engineer. Within the week of them assigning me the position, my first class and I had brainstormed assignments and a training program. I presented this to the division officer and the Chief Engineer and inform them that I cannot afford to be just the supervisor and I will be a working E-7. The Chief Engineer understood my reasoning and fully supported my plans. I'm sure the division officer was happy with it, since it took a lot of load off of him.
Since the wife was back in Hawaii with her assignment, I was always a presence aboard ship. I look back and I do have quite a sense of accomplishment in getting everything done that I did. I know damn well my replacement had it a hell of a lot better than I did when I first got there!
When we changed ports from the East Coast to the West, The medical officer did keep his word and cut me orders to Balboa Hospital to be processed for medical discharge............... Despite all the yelling and screaming and almost fighting from the Chief Engineer And a bit from the Commanding officer.
And this is all because of the medical officer not wanting the responsibility of having me on board with my medical conditions, despite being cleared for full duty by DC. Neither senator could do a thing for me.
I tried to get them to switch my right to the new recruiting rating. Before then, various sailors from different rates would go to the recruiting school and then spend their shore duty time recruiting . When that was over with, they'd go back to their normal job in the Navy.
So here I am, no opportunity in the past five years to grieve for my father, busted my ass the entire time and I like I was being thrown away! and to add insult to injury, the stupid little female Lieutenant JG That was the commanding officer of the transient barracks, canceled my Christmas leave that I had approved for 6 months and had plane tickets to go back to Hawaii after not seeing my wife for almost a year. She turned down a request to be sent home awaiting orders.... Discharge orders! This stupid bitch Put me in charge of the transit barracks. The transit barracks housed sailors in different situations. The vast majority were awaiting discharge. That also included all the bad apples The ones that were getting dishonorable discharge and the etcetera.
I was a fucking glorified babysitter!Definitely not the ending of a career that I had envisioned!
Being a Navy wife and mom is a difficult job on its own, but also being in the Navy just multiplies it. This situation just exacerbated a difficult one to begin with. It totally blew our and her future plans.
Looking back I know things could have been better between the wife and I if I had been able to grieve for my father. Along with the grieving, I did have to stifle quite a bit of my emotions. Communications is key in any relationship and with me not been able to talk about a lot of things, I just didn't share enough with her.
I did finally get to grieve for my father.
Once thrown away by the Navy, broken marriage and back home,,,,,,,,,,,,,,living with Mom Like some damn kid! I had to make a drastic change from my normal operating routine! I had to do something for Bill! Pretty much something I hadn't done since I left home! I did the things that my Dad and I did together! I spent the next 6 months doing nothing but hunting and fishing! I visited my Dad on a weekly basis at the cemetery and let him know what I had done that past week! I told him of that weeks hunting or fishing adventure and threw in some of the engineering Escapades I had while in the Navy that I knew he would enjoy and appreciate.
I threw out this long diatribe for a few reasons. The psychiatrist said it would be cathartic. We'll see about that. One of the more important reasons is to share. I know most of us here are older, but we do have some younger members. Family and loved ones are the most important things in life. Emotions and grieving have their time in place, but you actually have to actually make a time and place for them. Grieve for your lost ones by celebrating their life. Actually talk to your family about these emotions!
Being analytical and Vulcan-like does have its places. But more important, so, is being human.
www.osti.gov
ppp
