Duckster
Still Just a Rat in a Cage
- Joined
- Sep 26, 2014
- Messages
- 4,654
- Reputation
- 90
- Reaction score
- 22,044
- Points
- 0
- Age
- 71
- Currently Smoking
- Everything that i grow
I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing.
I converted to Islam, and we're stoning the bitch in the morning.
The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.......
she's 21 and her name's Lucy.
Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile" and other names at me, just becausemy girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50.
It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
The thing I love most about hot weather is the short skirts and low cut tops.... although, they do make me look a bit gay.
My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year. You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A: The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.
Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Only used it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It does everything - KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Crisps, the lot.."
Question - Are there too many immigrants in Britain ?
17% said yes; 11% said No; 72% said "I am not understanding the question please."
The queen says she doesn't want the traditional fruit cake at her jubilee celebrations. Prince Phillip says he doesn't give a toss, he's still going.
The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.
Some bastard's just pinched a pair of my wife's knickers off the washing line. She's not bothered about the knickers but she wants the 12 clothes pegs back.
I converted to Islam, and we're stoning the bitch in the morning.
The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.......
she's 21 and her name's Lucy.
Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile" and other names at me, just becausemy girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50.
It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
The thing I love most about hot weather is the short skirts and low cut tops.... although, they do make me look a bit gay.
My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year. You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A: The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.
Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Only used it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It does everything - KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Crisps, the lot.."
Question - Are there too many immigrants in Britain ?
17% said yes; 11% said No; 72% said "I am not understanding the question please."
The queen says she doesn't want the traditional fruit cake at her jubilee celebrations. Prince Phillip says he doesn't give a toss, he's still going.
The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.
Some bastard's just pinched a pair of my wife's knickers off the washing line. She's not bothered about the knickers but she wants the 12 clothes pegs back.