Live Stoners TELL ME A JOKE

[stepside]

It's been 6 months since anybody added a joke. that's not good next to cannabis, laughter is the best medicine.

An older couple has been trying and trying to have a baby. They go to the docs. The doc asks for a sperm sample gives them a bottle and sends them home.
A week later they're back at the docs. With an empty bottle. The doc says what happened?
The old man says" I tried with my left hand, with my right hand, tried with my teeth in, with my teeth out, she tried with both hands, with her teeth in and her teeth out........
But we still couldn't get the damn bottle open

 

[bad dragon bzzz]

a penguin walks into a bar,shouts at the barman hey did my brother come in here ? barman replies,duno whats he look like ?

 

[MikeyB420]

A stoner finds a strange-looking oil lamp in the trash and rubs it to clean it up when out pops a genie: "I grant you three wishes for releasing me!" The stoner says "OK, for my first wish: I want a never-ending blunt made from the finest Dinafem Sour Diesel!" Poof! He has a fat six-inch blunt in his hand. He takes a few tokes and is delighted by the delicious flavour and high, so he sits back and relaxes.



The genie says, "Hey, you have two more wishes, remember?" "Oh, yeah mumbles the stoner ... lemme see ... I'll have two more of these!"



MikeyB

I'm going to run those Sour Diesels soon!

 

[stepside]

A stoner finds a strange-looking oil lamp in the trash and rubs it to clean it up when out pops a genie: "I grant you three wishes for releasing me!" The stoner says "OK, for my first wish: I want a never-ending blunt made from the finest Dinafem Sour Diesel!" Poof! He has a fat six-inch blunt in his hand. He takes a few tokes and is delighted by the delicious flavour and high, so he sits back and relaxes.



The genie says, "Hey, you have two more wishes, remember?" "Oh, yeah mumbles the stoner ... lemme see ... I'll have two more of these!"



MikeyB

I'm going to run those Sour Diesels soon!

Nice, wish I could find that lamp

 

[MikeyB420]

Nice, wish I could find that lamp

I've got the seeds!

 

[bad dragon bzzz]

a paddy scotsman,Irishman,Englishman on a dessert island find a lamp rub it out pops a genie.as there are 3 of you I grant you 1 wish each.
scot goes first "its been nice but I wana go home to my wife" poof gone.
English next "you guys have been great but I wana go home to the family" poof gone.
Irishman "hmm its a kinda lonely here I wish my 2 pals were back with me"

 

[epenguin]

A penguin walks into a bar.

"Why the long face?" says the barman.

"Feck me" says the penguin. "I'm not a horse you daft twit !"

"I'm stoned" says the barman

No excuse, "Should've gone to Specsavers "

 

[stepside]

ep buddy, I knew I'd find you in here. Wheres the caption comp?? Look what my daughter got me for Christmas.

she's only 5 but she remembered you from last year

 

[epenguin]

Aw Steppa,

you make me a humble penguin. The Caption comp will be back in Feb. Promise. Methinks you may be due for HT ? Giz a PM.

eP.

 

[stepside]

What do you call a policewoman who shaves her pussy?

Cunt stubble

Dude I about puked laughing so hard