Live Stoners TELL ME A JOKE

[TEKGROW]

6. What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

7. What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?

One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.

8. What did the banana say to the vibrator?

Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!

9. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

Because his wife died.

10. What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?

There are twenty of them.

 

[TEKGROW]

What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cubes have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

 

[TEKGROW]

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.

 

[TEKGROW]

What’s the best part about gardening?

Getting down and dirty with your hoes

 

[TEKGROW]

Why do vegetarians give good head?

Beause they’re used to eating nuts.

 

[TEKGROW]

What’s long and hard and full of semen?

A submarine.

 

[TEKGROW]

Why do walruses love a tupperware party?

They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal.

 

[Dr Fluff]

Boobs vs. Willies

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?'

The father, surprised, answers,

'Well, son, a woman goes through three Phases.
In her 20s, a woman's boobs are like melons, round and firm.
In Her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions'.

'Onions?'

'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'

This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, 'Mom, how Many kinds of 'willies' are there?'

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through Three phases also.
In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and Hard.
In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree'.

'A Christmas tree?'
'Yes --- dead from the roots up and the balls are just for decoration.'

 

[TEKGROW]

This might not be the place for this but... I like jokes, doesn't matter what kind as long as I get a laugh.
What's the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer??


The taste!

This was a great idea... I would like to thank all you guys for the jokes ..iam having a hard time today ... at DRs... the pains are bad.even my high tolerance. .i need this laugh. #fukcancer ..ok fuk this emotional bs[emoji90] ...back to laughs #fukcancer lets laugh .. we winning everyday we awake ...[emoji109]

 

[stepside]

I got 5 on it


1. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

2. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

Beat it. We’re closed.

3. Why was the guitar teacher arrested?

For fingering a minor.

4. What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

5. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

He only comes once a year.

In reference to #1
Why do women fake orgasms?
Who cares
In ref to 5
Why does Santa have a hernia??
He keeps throwing his bag over his shoulder.