A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud scream is heard from the bathroom. A few minutes later, another loud scream is hear coming from the bathroom. The bartender goes to check on the drunk and make him stop screaming. "What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring the customers!" The drunk replies, "I'm sitting here on the toilet and every time I flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls." The bartender opens the door and looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"