Live Stoners TELL ME A JOKE

[stepside]

Why do lesbians shop at Olympia sports???


Cuz they dont like Dicks

 

[Waximus]

You guys are a funny bunch. Imagine us all camping for the weekend. Wed probly get thrown out!!

Thrown out... Start a Sovereign Nation..... it's a coin flip! lololol

 

[stepside]

There's a smart blonde, a dumb blonde, and the easter bunny standing on the corner.....

Which is the fictional character??

 

[Duckster]

This is too funny I am making snotbubbles I am laughing so hard

Too much information

 

[stepside]

Hey everybody, no joke here.

Have a safe and happy memorial day!!

 

[farmergreen007]

New Home Depot Scam


A big 'Heads up' for those men who may be regular Home Depot or Lowes customers. This one caught me by surprise.

Back in November, I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your purchases into the back of your SUV or Truck. They both have battery powered car vacuums and start vacuuming the inside of your vehicle, cleaning the inside of your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their coats.
It is impossible not to look at them. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say, 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to McDonalds or the closest fast food restaurant. You agree and they get into the back seat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, breasts everywhere, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen on December 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the15th, 17th, 20th, the 24th and 29th. Also on January 2nd & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, three times last Monday, and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful.

P.S. Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $1.99 each.

now where is this home depot?

 

[farmergreen007]

i have a few for you

Q: What do you call a pothead with two spliffs?
A: Double jointed.

Q: What do you call one bowl between three tokers ?
A: Malnutrition.

Q: Why is the roach clip called a roach clip?
A: Because pot holder was taken

Q: Did you hear about the kid that overdosed on weed?
A: Niether did I.

Q: What do you call a family that grows Marijuana in their backyard?
A: A Joint Family.

Q: What do you call a stoners wife?
A: Mississippi

If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage.

Q: What is a stoners idea of a balanced diet?
A: A joint in each hand!

Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?
A: Han So-high

Q: What do you call an apple pie getting high in Mcdonalds?
A: A baked apple pie.

Q: What did the stoners girlfriend say?
A: If I can't marry a dude, i'll Mary Jane

Q: What do you call money that grows on trees?
A: Marijuana

Q: What do get when you soak a spliff in Vodka?
A: The Holy Spirit!

Q: What do you call a potato that smokes weed?
A: A baked potato.

Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

Q: What do you call a stoner when horny?
A: A weed wacker!

 

[farmergreen007]

and a few more

Q: How do fish party ?
A: Seaweed.

Q: Why did the pot head plant cheerios?
A: He thought they were donut seeds.

Q: What do you call a person who remembers what they did at woodstock ?
A: A Liar.

Q: What do you call it when a roach ash burns your shirt?
A: A pot hole!

 

[Dr Fluff]

A young boy dressed as a cowboy goes into his local shop.

He points his gun at the shop assistant and says "gimme an iceream cone"

"Do you what crushed nuts?" she replies

"No, do you want your tits blown off?" came his reply.

 

[Rhyce Saroni]

A young boy dressed as a cowboy goes into his local shop.

He points his gun at the shop assistant and says "gimme an iceream cone"

"Do you what crushed nuts?" she replies

"No, do you want your tits blown off?" came his reply.

oh wow! i laughed my ass off!!! good one...