Looks like a great day
@Hotfire ...kids delight..tractors and animals.....
....life still a battlefield...or have you got through it.....?
Yeah we are working through it. Alot of it is me just being the bigger person cause the wife is a bit of a sociopath/narcissist (therapists words not mine) ..
She is doing some therapy on her own and seems to be coming around slowly but surely. I'll be starting some too here in a few days cause I'm just as fucked in the head and want to learn how to make myself a better person for my son. And if it makes her feel better that she's not the only one going through it, then that's what I got to do.
If we didn't have a kid I would have just left without even thinking about it but I have to love her unconditionally cause if I don't ill just put my kid through exactly what my dad and mom put me through and on goes the cycle.
I think as 24 hour caregivers to our child, being with each other every minute and living with her parents, life is always gonna be a battlefield. I don't even like being around my own parents everyday, it's not a normal situation IMO but it's how our cards were dealt so I'm making it work.
And like I said yesterday, if It doesnt work out in the end then i know ill come out of this a better man and that God has a bigger plan for me. If i don't give it everything I got to fix this then what difference am I than my dad or any other parent that can't put their own emotions aside? How do I teach my son how to be a man by walking out? Holding a grudge is too easy for me, I'm a pro at it. So I can't fall into that trap now that I have a responsibility.
Thanks for letting me vent guys, it helps, for real. Im outnumbered here at home and dont really have friends i want to know about all my dirty laundry. I know you guys wont judge me.
Sorry to damper the high to anyone who made it this far into my response