They can be. I always tried to make sure that problem did not originate from any of my actions.
I sincerely tried to love and treat all my children equally and with a "hers, his, and ours" situation, that was really paramount in my opinion.
Every child is different and what works with one may not work with the others kyle up but you try to maintain and even in fair level of discipline. Sometimes that's quite difficult to accomplish. The one absolute thing I wouldn't tolerate was yelling! The
only excuse for yelling is a genuine fear for the child safety. With three boys, that did come up relatively often.
That's difficult enough to do normally, military life only makes it exponentially more difficult.