I guess I never really looked at it like a tinderbox. Here in NY, that stuff isn’t really something that I’ve ever worried about. Fires are a rare sight here. Most fires here are from bad electricity situations. I have never seen a forest fire anywhere around here. I did light an old load of brush from a tree job on accident. It was in a trailer. We got it out, but it would have gone up.
And I don’t think so either as far as pissing anyone off…I am pretty cool with all the neighbors, we stay out of each other’s hair. We’re all on a first name basis, but I don’t see any intermingling. There is one neighbor who nobody likes, but he doesn’t even know my name barely. Nobody likes him, he’s a douche and he is never home. He has this retarded 1000w Halide lamp that sucks balls and is on every night. I’ve contemplated relieving it of it’s duty with my Gamo .22 cal air rifle. It would be fun. He has these lame ass garage sales like 5 times a summer. Everything is overpriced and scored from other places…it’s not a true garage sale. It’s weak AND it sucks. A winning combination.
(Edit)* I have a sneaky suspicion that it might be the mower guy. He has mowed the lawn thrice times. The first two were from him knocking and us saying go. The third time was that day. We weren’t home. He did it on his own volition. Me and NB came home and were in the shower when he knocked…to get paid. NB went and looked out the door and saw him walking away. Ten minutes later, is when the door had a real pro knocking. A fucking cop knock. The motorvation and opowertunity is there. The guy lookalike he watches NASCAR and Jerry Springer. Speaking of Springer, I walked down that hall that they show at the end of every episode, with Steve the baldy man. I was on Judge Mathis, which is filmed right across the hall, but that’s for a different day.*
So the first time the five oh was here: I’m telling y’all because it’s almost like therapy. I often use this place as a release. I’m sure you may have noticed. I am a weirdo. I carry this code about what I’ll put up with. I recently lost a good friend, because of some bullshit. He thinks that me and Possibly NB had sex with his girlfriend or something. Here’s the thing….we didn’t. At all, nothing ever, I’ve been nothing but a perfect gentleman around her. I’ve known her for 16 years, and we’re still cool. She came over like a week ago, the day I ordered that thermometer thing. I actually bought a gift card from her, that is why she came here. Anyway, her boyfriend stopped being friends with me because of some event that never happened six months ago. Shitty. So the cop thing before I forget again.
I met this one guy when I met NB. They went to school together. This was like 14 years ago when I was 31 and she was 18. I know. She was like one month past 18…haha…but we’re still together, so shut it. So, I met this cat that I call Guddy. He was this super shy and quiet kid that would never talk. Now I’ve known him for 14 years, and he considers me one of his best friends. I’m that older wiser guy to him, the visionary that gives him sound advice. So he calls me a couple weeks ago and asks if he can come by. I say sure and he gets dropped off. A few hours later, and we are alone, and he asks if I can keep a secret. Me? Are you kidding?? I’m a fucking vice if that’s what needs to happen. So, he tells me about how last night him and his girl got in a bad fight. She started punching him in the face and he I guess swung back. I don’t know his girl…I’ve never even met her. So, this really means jack shit to me, other than he is in trouble. It gets worse. So he ran from the apartment. And for some reason grabbed a machete first. And then ran through the woods and came out at the plaza thing, and proceeded to rob one of the stores there at knifepoint with this thing. Now this kid is not at all violent in the least, he’s a runner, not a fighter. His is kind of a pussy to be honest. He has even worked for me for a few seasons, that was the most I’ve seen him throw anything around. Before he met me, he had a string of bad luck and stupid decisions. He stole a safe when he was younger with this kid…who proceeded to basically frame Guddy…while meanwhile getting the goods and skipping the trouble. This landed him in some early trouble. About two months ago, he took some Xanax…I don’t understand those dumbos…and proceeded to black out and wave a pen knife around. This got him some kind of crazy assault charge, and then this thing happened. He is a dummy who had a bad string of decisions and unlucky events. So I hate cops. I’ve had trouble ever since the exwife thing. I instinctively go the other way from them. My friend asked if he could spend the night, and I said yeah. At about 10:00, I get informed “I don’t want to be a buzzkill, but the cops are here, and they want to talk to NB.” Ohh shit!! OHH SHIT!!!! OHH FUCK!!!! Without even thinking, I jet downstairs. My idiot dummy friend follows me. I have an automatic light in my shop, I didn’t want that to turn on, so I got in there and twistered that shit quick. Like 8 seconds later, there is a freaking COP flashlight shining through the windy. It was scanning my soul I tells ya. I didn’t stands a chance. Well, actually I did. I hid. For an hour and a half, while these fuckers were like hornets. It was like I was the one they were after. What a night. I kicked him out a day later. Too much ruckus. Fuckin hell.
Here is my Eagle River Knife Company kick ass fillet knife. I absolutely love it. My dad scored it for me in Alaska. It has a beautiful leather sheath that it lives in.