Live Stoner Chat Things that make you LOL...Pics,Videos,Jokes....

Cheeky flucker!:biggrin:
 
Had a job interview last week with a sales company. The guy says to me "So son, do you have much experience with selling?"

"Erm... not really no" I replied

"I tell you what... I want you to try to sell me that laptop in front of you and if you can, the jobs yours!"

So I folded the laptop up, popped it into my bag and fucked off home.

About an hour later the guy from the interview calls me....

"Where the hell are you?" He asks

"At home of course"

"WHAT! Do you still have my laptop?" He says

"Course I have mate" I replied

"Well can I have it back?"

"I'll tell you what mate.... give me a tenner and it's yours!" I reply

I start on Monday [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]



Sent from a rock in the sea!
 
A couple old blokes sitting in the pub, one says to the other "How's it working out with your mail order Thai wife?"...the other replies "Great on the whole, only problem I have with her, is she keeps leaving the toilet seat up!"...
 
Dunno how true this is but just read about some cops that got fired after 1/2 a ton of hash went missing and they claimed mice ate it. Over here that 2.25 million euros worth of hash [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] how fookin big were these mice [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] [HASHTAG]#clownshoes[/HASHTAG]

https://www.google.es/amp/s/www.tri...alf-a-ton-of-hash-from-a-police-warehouse/amp

Sent from a rock in the sea!
 
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A man's wife had become quite ill so he took her to the doctor to get her some help. The doctor carefully examined the wife and told the couple " I'm not quite sure what is wrong with her. I need to run some lab tests." So the doc drew some blood and told the couple to come back tomorrow afternoon. After spending a restless and worried night, they returned to the doctor's office that afternoon.
After they arrived, the doctor came out and said "Mr. Smith, I need to talk to you privately." The husband followed him back to his office and said "What's the problem, doc? Is my wife going to die?" The doc hemmed and hawed and finally said "There was a slight problem with her lab tests." "What kind of problem?" asked the husband. "Well, somehow we mixed up your wife's test results with another patients." "Well, what does that mean for me?" said the husband. The looked at him and said "It means your wife is suffering from either AIDS or Altzhemier's Disease." "Holy shit" cried the husband, what am I going to do? The doctor said "If it was my wife I would drive her about 10 miles out of town to the country........and if she finds her way back....don't fuck her!"
 
A US special agent pulled up to a ranch house in Texas and talked with an older rancher. He told the rancher, “I need to search your ranch for Marijuana plants
ir
we believe to be in the area.” The rancher said, “Okay no problem, but don’t go in that field over there…..”, as he pointed out the field.
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:growing:
The agent verbally exploded saying, “Sir, I have the authority of the Law
ir
with me!” Reaching into his coat pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. “See this badge?! :shooty:This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wont!!!…. On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear……do you understand ?!!”:naughtystep:
The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores as the agent headed straight out to the field. A short time later, the rancher heard a loud scream coming from the direction of the field. He looked up and saw the agent running for his life, being chased by the rancher’s big Texan Bull
ir
… With every step the bull was gaining ground on the agent, and it seemed likely that he’d sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The rancher threw down his tool
ir
, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs…..

“Your badge!!!! show him your fucking BADGE!!!!! :lol::crying:
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I just heard the worst most offensive joke I EVER heard. You gonna have to work for it to get it from me in a PM. I could never place it in open forum.

Men only !

eP.
 
epenguin said:
I just heard the worst most offensive joke I EVER heard. You gonna have to work for it to get it from me in a PM. I could never place it in open forum.

Men only !

eP.
Click to expand...
Send it my way
 
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