Hey Nosias, you are not screwing anything up! I think I can clarify the PPM vs EC confusion and explain the cal-mag readings, too.
Pure distilled water actually does not conduct electricity, it is only the solids dissolved in the water that carry electricity. And that is what these meters measure, electrical conductivity (that's what the EC stands for)! They simply run a current through the water and measure the resistance. The result is expressed in millisiemens, which would be a number typically 0-3 for plant food. That number can be converted to an estimated PPM (parts per million) by multiplying it by 500 or 700. Different companies use different methods, the Blue Lab meter lets you pick which measurement you want to use (that's what I was asking about, 500 vs. 700 mode).
The thing about this technique though, is that it only measures substances that conduct electricity. That's why you can measure straight voodoo juice and it says 0 ppm. There is for sure some parts besides water in there, but they do not conduct electricity so it does not register with the meter. Since calcium and magnesium are both salts that conduct electricity like holy hell, they make the meter jump.
Since most plant foods conduct electricity, it is a good tool for measuring how strong your solution is. But it is limited, too. As far as I know, to get a true PPM count of every substance in your water, you need to send away for a lab analysis.