Thanx
@Dudeski!
Weed is good. Saints are good.
Hey DR.Babnik seeina as you name your plants after saints, I thought I'd look for the Saint of cannabis.
Here is the closest i could get.
Patron Saint of Marijuana?
Weeeeeeeed, man!
As I roamed through the quagmire of facebook status updates this morning – procrastinating housework, mind you – I saw many posts reminding me that today, April 20th, is in fact Weed Day. Moments before this occurrence I looked up the Catholic Saint of the day, or the feast day dude. It happened to be
St. Marian. Suffice to say, St. Marian had nothing to do with weed.
This revelation led me to actually search the interwebs for a REAL patron saint of smot poking. The google results for the search “patron saint of marijuana”, “pot smoking hippie saint”, “saint + armpit stench + weed + Catholic Church”, etc. led me to some interesting finds.
Some pot smoking hippies regard
Ganesha – the hindu “lord of removing obstacles” – the patron saint of Marijuana (How this has anything to do with smoking the cheeba, I have not a clue… Maybe because weed removes that pesky “obstacle” of thinking rationally? I’ll ask the next hippie I meet). First of all, Ganesha is not a saint… its not even a human. From the picture all I can surmise is that it has the head of an elephant, four arms and farts some sort of flower. Second of all, … there is no second of all. Ganesha is not a saint.
QED.
Notice the strange appearance of Ganesha... Maybe a hindu-hippie, or hinppie, originally came up with this as a sort of practical joke... "Yea, this guy is the, er, um, remover of obstacles... yea. You should worship him...it."
(Interesting quote from Wikipedia on Ganesha: “Although he is known by many other attributes, Ganesha’s elephant head makes him easy to identify.” I’ll second that. Its not everyday – well, at least not for us non-smokers – that we see a dude with an elephant head and four arms that is somehow levitating on a giant lotus)
The Muslims also have some sort of patron saint of pot smoking, known as
Khidr, Khizr, Khidar and Khizar. One poignant fact that points to him being a hippie is having four names. This can only occur if the person (this one is an actual person) smokes a lot of ghanja with friends who keep forgetting his name (who wouldn’t?). Anyhow, I digress. El Khiz-er-eeno (my new “pot name” for him) was some sort of “spiritual guide” to Islamic prophets who came after him. Yeah right. Every pot smoking hippie talks about “seeing crazy shit, man” after they partake of their hallowed plant, so this fact alone can’t be enough to elevate Tha Khiz Miester to patron saint-dom.
Apparently, Khiz-man flies around on a giant tuna. That would only be cool if the tuna was somehow perpetually on fire.
YEAH!!!!
Yoism also has a patron saint of pot smoking: Soma the Rastafarian.
Yoism is an “open source religion” based on open source software, specifically Linux. This guy is a total hippie. Enough said.
He totally fits the mold for patron saint... big ass beard, crazy eyes, hiding in bushes, etc.
While pondering the far-fetched possibility of there being a Catholic Saint of Pot Smokia, I realized that there is a general model that a pot smoking saint would have to fill. Lets compare St. Marian to this model.
1. Elephant head: Nope, St. Marian definitely did not have an elephant head.
2. Flies around on a flaming tuna: No. Although, he was in cahoots with the fauna of
Auxerre, France, but this does not include tuna as it is nowhere near the coast (much less flaming tuna).
3. Huge beard, crazy eyes and an affinity to hiding behind shrubs: Since Catholic.org didn’t mention these facts in the bio, and I can’t seem to find a picture of St. Marian, I will assume yes. Check.
This evidence leads to my final hypothesis: St. Marian was at least hippie enough to be considered (not really) the patron saint of pot smoking.
Decidedly not St. Marian.
Happy feast day of Saint Marian of Auxerre.
