Hi. Happy First day of Fall my AFN foodie friends!!! I love the Fall, and even more exciting is that after a 5 month growing hiatus we are about to fire up some KAAAAHBS. Lol. That never gets old. The summer was brutal and it was just not happening, but that shit is in the rear-view. Some top shelf Mephisto strains: Forum Stomper, Sour Stomper, Strawberry Nuggets, Skywalker, and....wait for it....a FREAKING GRAPE WALKER KUSH aka the one and only GWK. Now extinct (at least for the time being... we'll see). That's not why I'm here...you know me better than that. So, first day of Fall...what to make? Seeing as it's 50°F out, seems like the PERFECT time for some FOUR BEAN & BEEF CHILI!!! As previously promised a few months back, I am gonna post the full recipe in glorious high definition. I make a lot of crazy tasty food, but this is something truly special that you can't get anywhere. I have made it approximately 40 times over the last 20 years and spent the first half REALLY dialing it in. This is a 100% non stolen completely original chili recipe like none other I've ever had. Its my most requested dish, and I only make it a couple times a year. It's not that cheap. Don't cut corners if ya make it. If you want to completely blow your friends and family away, smoke em up with some Mephisto and feed em this. Not joking.
Before we start, you are going to NEED a significantly large thick bottomed pan, or several smaller ones. You can also do the majority in a pair of normal slow cookers, with the beef browning being the only thing you can't do. Big deal. I happen to have a 32 quart (overkill) restaurant sauce kettle that works perfect...bottom line is you NEED the right vessel so you don't scorch the bottom or have to babysit it every 8 minutes.
Here we go guys:
The proper way to start chili Saturday is a trip to the local food bazaar...what some would call a 'Grocery Store' or 'Hypermart'. Bring your wallet too* (more on that later).
Don't get so sticker shocked just yet. The chilli ingredients were exactly $63 and it makes 20-25 bowls...the other $25 was fresh bread, 2 boxes of Toasted Crackers (Bomb), blue corn tortillas, sour cream, not used tomatoes, a spare bottle of chili sauce for burgers, and a package of genuine Mint Oreos for my incredible friend Mr Royalroacho who was the generous benefactor of this absolute insanity. Say hi to him...he is why I'm on here and is a genius greenthumb growing machine. Without further interruption, Chili Saturday with Royalroacho:
Step 1: Secure/procure/swindle your produce. You're gonna need the equivalent of 6 decent Bell peppers. Color is KEY, and you can swap some different ones around. Just keep it balanced like I did with heat. I got a red, yellow, and green bell pepper, that striped yellow/red thing, a Pablano, 2 cherry peppers, and a jalapeño. Also about 5 baseball sized Vidalia sweet onions (buy a small bag) and 1¼ full heads of garlic. 20 cloves kiddies. Grab a fresh Roma (plum) tomato or two if ya want to add some fresh tomato in there, but it's not necessary at all.
Step 2: MEET the MEAT. Whole Chuck roast, course ground from meat bodega at the Hypermart. You're gonna want exactly 3.0 pounds. That's 1⅓ kilos for you rowdy guys across the pond. Duggy, Mossy...looking RIGHT at you.
Step 3: The OTHER stuff. And things. A bottle of high end Worcestershire sauce like Lee & Perrins. Gonna need ½ the bottle. 2 full bottles of Nance's chili sauce. VERY VERY important part. Beans. 5 cans total; big can of Dark Red kidney beans, and a regular can of each one: Dark Red kidney beans, light red kidney, cannellini, and black beans. Thoroughly rinsed together until spotless water comes out the strainer. Also gonna need 2 cans of stewed and 2 cans of diced tomatoes with one of the diced being diced tomatoes with green chiles. I like the Original Rotel for this role. Two 12oz lager beers and 3 beef boullion cubes...essential. Finally we got the 3 bottles of seasoning. DO NOT DEVIATE HERE. Or at do so at your own peril...the high end chili powder and Cumin makes ALL THE DI
ERENCE and we are using 3 full bottles. Grab 1 bottle each of McCormick Gourmet Organic Chilli Powder and McCormick Gourmet Organic Cumin, and a bottle of Spice Islands Chilli Powder. Order it online if need be, same with the Nance's Chili sauce. The rest should be available at just about any Hypermart or dodgy produce vendor.
The whole spread. Minus the freaking WORCESTERSHIRE!! D'oh
The Prep:
This is a good amount of prep so enlist a slave or two. Dice up ALL hotter peppers real fine, course chop the bell peppers and onions (leave em BIG), course chop the sweet onions (BIG), mince the garlic (use a tool!!), and chop the 2 cans of stewed tomatoes, reserving 100% of ALL liquid to go back in. That goes for all the tomato products.
Fire it up:
Brown the beef and drain it. The drippings are not going back in. Return to the kettle. After it's gone from glowing red to ugly brown, add the veggies. All of em except garlic; fresh cut produce, and all tomatoes...NO BEANS. Leave em sitting in the strainer in the sink in that crystal clear water. Add the 2 cans of Nance's, ½ bottle of Worcestershire sauce, two 12oz beers, 3 dissolved boullion cubes (use beer + microwave). Stir it up and put in the fresh minced garlic and all 3 bottles of the high end chili powder (2) and cumin (1) that you absolutely DID NOT skimp on. Stir it up. Drain the CLEAN water from the beans and GENTLY fold them in. Very gentle. They break easy. That should be everything in the magic pot. If by chance I missed something, get it the fuck in there. Notice I didn't add salt. That's because you HAVE to do that to taste and at THE VERY END...which is about 2.5 hours. Get it boiling and reduce heat to idle. Cover it up tight and let er do it's thing. I missed a couple pics here, but it's ALL going in the pot anyway.
This is the kettle I used:
With the magic of GWK and TV editing, here is the finished product about 2 hours 45 mins after starting.
A proper bowl of chili like this deserves an equal contender of the glutenous variety. Meet Wegman's fresh baked Garlic Tuscan Bread.
To serve:
A dollop of Creme Freeche (Randy) or Sour Cream as you will find it called in your local Hypermart, and some Cabot Seriously Sharp Cheddar fresh off the grater.
So that's it guys n gals. Doc McBubbles Four Bean Chili. Here is the shopping list in an easy format:
-5 Baseball sized onions
-6 Assorted peppers, ⅔ Bell
-1.5 Heads of Garlic
-2 Roma Tomatoes (optional)
-3# Chuck Roast, fresh coarse ground
-2 Jars Nance's Chili Sauce
-½ Bottle Worcestershire Sauce
-2 Cans Stewed Tomatoes
-1 Can Diced Tomatoes
-1 Can Rotel (Tomato w/ green chili)
-1 Large can Dark Red Kidney Beans
-1 Small can Dark Red Kidney Beans
-1 Small can Light Red Kidney Beans
-1 Small can Cannellini Beans
-1 Small can Black Beans
-1 Bottle McCormick Gour. Chili Powd
-1 Bottle McCormick Gour. Cumin
-1 Bottle Spice Islands Chili Powder
-2 12oz cans of Lager Beer
Brown the beef and drain. Start building from there. Get everything in there, with the beans going in last. Simmer covered for 2½ to 3 hours. ENJOY!!!! It was harder to makes this post than it was to make that. By far.
THEY'RE called KAAAAHBS Joe's dad's stuff