The mood stabilizer settled the roller coaster down in the depressive zone. I've run my support structure ragged with all the mood swings. Nobody will let me out of their sight. The next stop on this stupid train would be inpatient care except that's for rich people. The one recommended by a family member would cost about $100k just for the facility. That's not even including the psychiatrists. They do have ketamine, though. If you're like me and self-employed, something like this pretty much nukes the reputation.
And the punchline in all of this is that when they mention "antidepressants" for bipolar people, they really mean antipsychotics which have been found to have the side effect of partially relieving depressive symptoms in bipolar folks in addition to all the other side effects like tardikinesia, liver failure, etc.
I should have just done shrooms. In fact, that option is still on the table, but things are a little sticky with the family watching me and all.
This is for my dad who is driving an hour for his shift to watch me today