I have been meaning to add something to this thread for awhile. While I do not have extreme chronic pain, I do suffer from chronic pain from a kidney disorder and it does make life difficult, I also suffer from SEVERE panic disorder with agoraphobia. Growing has helped me the most with the Panic and agoraphobia, while the smoking of course helps with my pain better than the opiates my Dr has had me hooked on along with benzodiazapines for the last 7+ years. I can say that cannabis has saved my life. Along with panic/agoraphobia comes severe depression, growing clears my soul and so does smoking. I used to smoke a lot in high school until I got some super strong shit and it induced a Panic attack.... then again I was doing a ton of other drugs and drinking so it may not even have been the Cannabis but that being the case my 4 year run with Mary was over after that first attack. I was 19 then, Cannabis would not come back into my life for 12 years. A few days after my 31st birthday I went to a buddy of mines that you all know very well on here (he knows who he is) and asked him if he thought Cannabis would help with my pain and panic where the pills were starting to fail. (Even though the last experience I had was horrible) I didn't care because I was getting desperate and prayed that after so many years it would be different. He proceeded to hook it up with a bowl pack of the Mohan Ram to try and also showed me his secret little garden. When I saw those plants something happened to me, I started to feel ambitions that had been lost over years of mental and physical pain also I had some sort of "connection" with the cannabis plant it woke up something in me that had been spiritually dead for a very long time. (Of course I did not mention this to my friend in fear of lookin like a asShole and sounding crazy) but I did ask him to teach me to grow and he agreed. Now let's move on to the first smoke of the Mohan after 12 years of totally abstaining. I went to the local hippie shop and got a nice bong, I remembered thinking my god it has been such a long time since I have been in here and God it stinks like perfume scented hippies. Well I secured the device lol and went home to go on my adventure with the Mohan. I was nervous as shit I am not going to lie it was July 12 2015, and I knew the Cannabis was strong but for some reason I stuffed the bong,sat there and did some deep breathing I wanted to do the first session by myself because it had been so long I wanted to absorb every effect and feeling, well I finally got the sack and fired up the Mohan after that first rip I could tell something was different and that I was getting ready to rid myself of all the shit that had been piling up on me over the years and to be ready to strap in for the ride. The bong was done and I was so medicated that all I could do was sit/lay there and feel the depression, negativity, pain melt away. I had a glowing positive feeling I had not felt in years and it stuck with me that was the experience that changed my mental state for the better and I have to say since July,12.2015 I have not went a day without cannabis and I could not be happier with myself and the peace it has brought my spirit. OK now to the positive effects on mental and physical state that growing cannabis provides me, I have a strange connection with the Cannabis plant. I actually started growing before I smoked again it brings me great mental peace when I am with my garden I literally could not have a care in the world and it is like I am one with the earth and essence of the plants. I forget about pain, panic,depression,sadness it is like everything negative that is in my life disappears for a short while. It really is a crazy feeling and I could go on and on if someone has questions please feel free to message me if you might have questions or have a similar experience. Much luv guys I know I ramble but hopefully someone got something out of my story. One more thing to add, I had 2 beans in this run that I am doing now (link is in my sig) that would not even sink to the bottom of the cup I was soaking them in let alone pop a tail, but when I put them in the dirt they busted up and out something fierce and now they are doing great! OK guys I am not going to ramble any more lol much luv and have a mellow day.
