So I’m sure most of y’all have seen my crazy posts about this darkness and shit. It’s eating me. Here it is:
I am supposed to have court today at 2:00pm. I don’t know what to do. It’s about my ex wife shit…the shit that caused me to have to pay $57 thousand dollars. Fifty seven fucking grand…on top of the 20 grand from the past two times I have gotten picked up. With all the other shit (cell phones, clothes, cars, dental work, rent money…plus attorney fees, gas, etc) I am easily at $110K…and I wasn’t even technically employed. I did tree work for 11 years, but this thing over my head swinging never let me take it to where it should have gone. This has basically ruined me. It’s changed who I am…I am angrier than I have ever been, I am scared to even go outside sometimes. I owe exactly ZERO dollars, yet somehow I am still in court. My attorney has petitioned the county to release me, as well as the district attorney…they don’t want to do anything, as I am paid in full. I’ve asked to be moved to a different court, asked t be able to do a phone type court, multiple things….every single one was denied by this fuck.
I have a clean record, I haven’t even been in legal trouble since I was a teenager. And this judge is 80 miles away. I had a Class A CDL license, I ran a business off the books for over a decade, I’ve grown a shit load of dope, I have a genius level IQ…yet I can’t figure a way out of this. If I go, I’m almost positive that he will figure out a way to put me in jail, which I can’t do. I just can’t. I’ve been on Suboxone for the past 15 years and I’m absolutely TERRIFIED of what will happen if I go to jail. I haven’t even done anything wrong. If I don’t go, he will hold me in contempt….which I believe is what he wants. It’s fucked up that he has such a hard on for me. I’ve only been in front of him TWO TIMES. And he is over 80 miles away from me. I don’t get it. It’s causing me the worst anxiety I’ve ever had….continually. It’s changed me at my core. All because of some fucking money that DEFINITELYwas never used for my kids. I got one girl pregnant. One time. When I was 20. Twins popped out. I stayed with that cunt until they were 10 and I met Alicia, the one and only Nurse Bubbles. Now I have to worry about what will happen in 12 hours. It’s so fucked up. I want to smash this fucking guy with a sledgehammer. He is taking this so personally, like i have been a thorn in his side or some shit. No matter what I do, I’ll lose. I’m terrified.