K
Kakarot
Guest
Hmmmm I think I have posted in this thread before but I am not sure so I will post this. NO WOMAN IS WORTH TAKING YOUR LIFE OVER...In fact NOTHING IS WORTH TAKING YOUR LIFE OVER , let me share some of my recent life events with you Dank and StepSide and everyone else. I had a normal childhood, however when I was probably around the age of 13 I started drinking , age 14 I was drinking everyday and had stumbled into a drug called Cocaine and thus my life of hell and addiction began. From 14 to 22 I was in and out of rehabs and psych-wards the whole time trying to drink and snort myself to death. I started to have alcohol induced Arrhythmia's in my heart. Somewhere along the line I dropped the coke and started using any kind of downer I could get my hands on, this mixed with the LARGE amounts of booze led to 3 overdoses that my heart stopped from each time they had to do CPR and shock me back to life. My poor Mom, Dad and Grandmother, especially my Mom and Grandmother... I have to live with the fact that I put them all through seriously living hell each day. Grandma came home one day to find me at her house blacked out drunk I had tried to open the door and she was not home, the door broke and I fell through the glass cutting myself and somehow I do not know if I passed out or knocked myself out but it looked like a murder scene. The glass cut me all up and down my arms on my face and neck and down my side.... and she came home and saw me lying there like that.. It still makes me want to cry as I type it now... That is just one instance of the stupid shit that I used to do. I am glad to say I have been sober for 8 years I am 31 now, but when you get sober is when for me at least the suicidal thoughts come in as it was very hard for me to live with all the shit I had done to my family and people in general. I was a horrible person when in that condition. Fast forward to around 2012 I met what was soon to be my daughter's mom then to be my wife,then to be my ex-wife...now she is my girlfriend again as we are dating... that is seriously fucked up. She has SERIOUS issues everything I have shared with her she has thrown back in my face at some point, she drinks..... she does pills.... there for awhile she would harass me daily to get fucked up with her and constantly start unprovoked fights with me about nothing. I have a thread on here somewhere about the relationship between her and I. Somehow I never lost my cool, my sobriety was never compromised and honestly the thought of killing myself went through my head... but I thought if I did that then technically she would win and then my daughter would be stuck here with her. When we got the divorce I got FULL custody of my daughter and I would not change that for ANYTHING. Almost right after the divorce she called me and started the crap of uhh I am sorry and I want to try and work things out.. so for 2 months I moved back in and the same shit ensued so again we split... 2 more months go by... we start talking again and again she says I want to work it out. SO this time I say well if we really love each other and you really want to work it out guess what.. We can date I am not moving back in and we will see who has really changed, Thus far it has been good but I still have my doubts and I am not going to hold my breath. Anyways the point is no matter how bad shit gets just tell someone ANYONE. Talk about it I know it is cliche but seriously talk about it I honestly think that is why I am so open about everything is because it is like therapy. If anyone on here wants to talk I am here to listen. Much love guys and I hope someone got something from my stories. 
