@mainemedical I don't even know what to say... When I first read your post I got such an awful feeling come over me... Almost made me vomit ( literally) all I can say brother is sending you a good luck karma cloud... May your "three" be over with!
@si that one line really reasonated within me... Put me into a little crying spell for a bit

its true I think everyone in their life's have just a few moments where the universe kicks you in the ass and give you a chance to change and grow or to wither and wallow in what the universe just dealt you... Without getting into to much personal detail in the next few years not by my choice remotely (two close people are not doing well Health wise and in my line of work I can see the writing on the walls) not everyone had the mental time to prepare for the what universe will be dealing to them, some do. Regardless, change is inevitable... Its the only thing that's guaranteed and death.
I wish you MM the strength and courage to takes this time and think "BIG" as to where you see your self in 10yrs.. And now take the first baby step to it brother! Ill be joining ya in the walk soon enough
:hugs: