Live Stoner Chat Dr. Bubbles & Bushmasterar15's Food Network

[Mañ'O'Green]

I'm not even kidding about the pork coffee. Any roasted meat will make juice, but the outside/meat ratio is especially good with ribs. I love a great coffee rub really slathered on nice. Usually do it an hour before and let em rest on the counter. I use lots of paprika, pepper and some brown sugar mainly, with garlic and onion powders and salt for the supplements. The finished product is dark, sweet, meaty, and coffee all in one terrific slurp.

I really feel for ya Greeny...having to pass on food that you know is delicious has to be tough. Not sure about the gluten factor, but I've had some excellent rice flour baked goodies...mainly bagels and freeform bread and it was killer. I went on a little kick for a few months with the bagels. They looked so pretty too, probably the nicest looking bagels I've seen, which is why I originally tried it. I didn't find out about the rice flour till I had already consumed a bunch. The tops were very pretty.

McCormick used to make a rub called Cowboy Rub. It had coffee in it and it was very good indeed. I have not seen it in a long time.

 

[bushmasterar15]

Cucumbers transforming on me!
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My wife just made some fresh dill pickles

 

[bushmasterar15]

McCormick used to make a rub called Cowboy Rub. It had coffee in it and it was very good indeed. I have not seen it in a long time.

Walmart just had a few different rubs that we seen yesterday. A few had coffee in them. But we didn't pick any up after reading most the ingredients we already have n use at home. So I'll mix up my own.

 

[bushmasterar15]

As I'm winding down from grilling/griddling outside since my next foot surgery is coming up in just over a week. We got some T-bone steaks seasoned with kosher salt and coarse fresh cracked pepper. Let sit for the hour. Got corn in husk started on the grill roasting. Then wife cubed and parboiled some red potatoes before they got put on the griddle. The steaks hit the grill 3 minutes per side and 4 flips they come out medium to medium rare on my grill.

 

[Dr.Bubbles]

That's a beautiful plate there Mr. 5.56...right up my alley. What happened that you need all this medicals if ya don't mind me asking? I came back in the middle of it.

This is what started the whole coffee craze for me. I must have spent $25 on the shit before I said nope.

It's an excellent rub, it just needs a bit more coffee in my opinion. I tried to be all scientific about making my first few rubs, but it was a genuine pain in the ass and quickly stopped happening.

All my rubs for the last 5 years have been coffee rubs. Even if it's just a supporting role, I love to poke the taste buds. Coffee and cocoa powder make for excellent bitter choices. I pretty much make my own everything as far as seasonings and sauces and stuff. I keep all the sauce and spice staples in stock. For example, for the acid sours, I have 5 vinegars on tap(white, red wine, balsamic, apple cider, and rice wine), plus lemon + lime juice. I also have a handful of different mustards (yellow, spicy brown, Dijon, Grey Poupon, whole grain, plus some German beer mustard and Amish garlic mustard).

My spice rack takes up a whole cupboard and pisses me off to no end trying to find that one ingredient. Haha...but seriously, it pisses me off....but I wouldn't not want it either.

Okay, coffee rub a dubba. I start with instant coffee and I put it in my grinder....which is just a cheapo old Black n Decker $10 hobbies that sucks for real coffee, but works great for savory spices. I get the instant coffee into powder. I throw that in a mixing bowl and spread it out. I then usually put some good quality paprika on top, maybe 60/40 coffee powder. Then comes brown sugar and black pepper usually. Then I start adding the supplements...like garlic & onion powder, chili powder, mustard powder, cayenne, and cumin. I always add some garlic and onion p, but the others depend on what mood I'm in. I whisk it up and taste it, and then salt it up. I use nice course sea salt and toss it in the grinder. It's nice to have a reference if you aren't used to making it, so I would always save a smidge from the commercial offerings.

I got a bottle of this from my buddy in the 6 pack, which were all great. I can't remember this specifically, but I know I liked it....the whole collection was bangin. My first BBQ cookbook was from Steven Raichlen, so a full circle was achieved when I got this wonderful Christmas gift.

A real killer cookbook and guide to start your BBQ adventure. This was way back in the 90s before the internet had you covered. Out of maybe 20 cookbooks I've received, this was #2, behind this authentic Chinese cookbook which my mom got me that disappeared between moving and storage and all that young dummies. I wish I had that still, it was this monster book with all these whole fish recipes. Very nice and beautiful pictures.

The Bible is gone too now, but BBQ is pretty straightforward once you get your feet wet as y'all have done decades ago....but for a 20 year old in 1997, it showed me the light. So THATS how you make ribs that aren't shoe leather.

I am a creature of habit...I've tried all the standard smoking woods. Here's my two cents on the wood game. I've used hickory, oak, maple, apple, peach, cherry, walnut and mesquito. I have only used mesquite a couple times as I have to buy it. It was all teeny crumbs and I remember using it on top of charcoal with steaks. I might have smoked something with it, but my brain is not cooperating. I've actually only done full brisket two times...both times I bought a 10 pound packer and smoked it over cherry. 90% of the smoking I've done has been from trees that I have taken out myself as a tree guy. From shagbark hickory to pin oak to sugar and silver maples to a 100 foot choke cherry that I used 20 times...I LOVE ME SOME CHERRY. It works for EVERYTHING I've done with it, but it really shines with brisket, ribs and butt/shoulder. On the mega long cooks...8-12 hours, the cherry gives this absolutely mind blowing neon red smoke ring that you gotta see to believe.

I also really liked peach, but I have yet to fight a peach tree, so it wasn't around like that. I actually bought those teeny chip bags like 5 or 6 times before the store didn't have them one day. I went to the True Value store and they had these Weber brand chunks...I called them knuckles...I can make these...and the rest is history.

I look for nice 6" thick straight pieces and cut em into 20" lengths. Bring em down into the workshop and use my little Delta 14" mitre saw to cut 2" thick rounds...which I then use a splitter and quarter those. Instant perfect knuckles of whatever the fuck I bring home. This is when I went on a mission to try everything. Customers see me make a little pile and start asking questions...a few have actually followed suit...lol... especially the guy with the monster choke cherry...he kept a few hundred pounds worth of 3' log chunks. I hope it worked out as good for him as it did for me...that's where my cherry fix started. I haven't encountered too many enemy cherry trees in my career, they just aren't that popular... plus, they USUALLY aren't 100 feet tall. Real deal tree guys usually don't get a lot of easy and small jobs, we get the shit that scares people or is over houses and shit. I ran out of cherry and was sad until my idiot friend's (the one who shot himself..Royal Roacho from AFN) fucked up mother (the funeral and final wishes ruiner!!!!) called me to take down a little cherry tree!!! This was just a little guy, I would up grabbing all of it in my trucky. I just recently ran out. Again. I need more cherry guys. That's how amazing it is though, and I would recommend grabbing some the next time y'all decide to smoke if it's available.

Fuckin hell....Everytime I get going on here an essay comes out. Well, cheers to you good reader if you made it this far. HAHA!!

 

[bushmasterar15]

That's a beautiful plate there Mr. 5.56...right up my alley. What happened that you need all this medicals if ya don't mind me asking? I came back in the middle of it.

I had a few years where sporadic pain in my foot. I wasn't able to put weight on it. Finally went to the Dr for it and went through tests and steroid
injections till they finally took xrays finding solid bone that shouldn't be. MRI results showed the same so had surgery on my left foot. Now 4 months
later and physical therapy for that foot working both of my feet I started having the same issues in my right foot. So again xrays and MRI showed
the same fused bones.

 

[Mañ'O'Green]

My go to for Turkey is applewood. I like maple or oak for pork, once in a while hickory. Hickory is just overdone in the market. I have mesquite charcoal wood that gets used maybe one a year. It is good on beef but I don't eat beef. Green Tea and cardamom mixed with some rice in a foil packet make unbelievable good oriental spiced chicken. I use cherry on anything but it is used less than the above.

I used to use Kingsford's (Blue Bag) briquettes but the quality and flavor are not what they used to be. In the past every Memorial Day some retailer would have a great sale on briquettes and I would stock up on 450 pounds which would last the year. This year the only brand I could get at a great price was the Embers by Royal Oak. It turns out they are like the old Kingsford, great flavor and long burning! They have a western wood flavor. If I want to use some other lighter wood smoke like the tea I have the Kingsford that really has little wood flavor?

 

[Dr.Bubbles]

So I'd that like a calcium deposit thing or like a fusion thing? Sounds painful. You really take your feet for granted until the day you can't walk.

I have had some mechanical foot issues, first official bone break was my left foot from jumping off a 4' foot near vertical quarter pipe when I was about 13. I was a huge skater in my youth. The funny thing is, that my foot break involved a quarter pipe, yet there wasn't a skateboard involved. We were playing tag and I was screwing around as kids do. I ran up it and jumped off the top as I had done many many times before.

Fast forward 4 years, I was the first kid in my school to bring a snowboard to ski-club. I actually was solo with my Burton for 2 whole years before a few other kids joined me in the cool kids zone. Nothing against skiing, I started that at like 6, and was pretty good...but since I bought my first snowboard....which was a Legend brand jet black plastic offering from K-Mart that cost like $25. The first time I strapped that big black dildo on, I haven't been skiing since...and I got brand new skis for Christmas that same year. I think I used em maybe twice....before that, I had gone through a pair every other year.

So here I am in 11th grade. Ski club at Bristol Mountain, the week before February break, about 9:40pm. I would always go into the lodge at about 9:15-9:20 and retrieve my backpack from my locker. The other ski club kids are all winding down and getting their gnarly ski boots off in the lodge. I am traveling light, and have all my stuff with me, and I go jump on the main lift and get another whole run in!! The busses are supposed to leave at 10:00. So I'm with my skiing friend, who also has his gear with him. We would absolutely fly...like 75+ mph down the last bit of the mountain...and use that speed to fly past the lodges, jump the 10 stair set, continue down the hill between the base and the parking lot, right out into the parking lot, and if there was enough snow, I could make it all the way to the busses. All the other kids are dragging all this gear a half mile..after 6 hours of skiing, like dummies, and here I am stopping 10 feet away from the bus before I even unstrap. I did this every single time. I get a free last run and I get to skip the long ass walk. That clearly sounds like a win/win.

9:45pm, get off the chair at the top and boogie down. This particular run we were on is one of my favorite trails at Bristol. It's a twisty run through the trees and has some 10 foot cliffs along the side that are above the main trail. There is this one spot where you can get up there with some decent speed, cut the corner, and it spits you out back down onto the trail off a little kicker that is about 10 feet above the trail. I had been hitting this thing all day and getting pretty good air off it. Easily twelve feet up and clearing 30 feet of distance at 20mph. I get some good speed and hit the kicker harder than I have all day. My skiing partner was waiting for me underneath it to have me go over his head in the air...which we've been doing all day. So here I am....airborne...and everything feels great. I wasn't doing any tricks, just a nice big fat air. The landing from this particular ledge is on an almost flat section. No downhill landing, which can make for much harder impact after gravity comes calling. I clearly remember landing, because the flat ground combined with my flat board landing just about perfectly level with the ground made a really loud sound. I basically landed dead flat onto flat ground...I also remember the sound of the board hitting as one of the loudest landings I have ever heard myself do in my whole career. My buddy also noticed how loud it was, as well as a Ski Patrol guy who was the last one up the lift for the night. He also heard the slap.

When I landed hard, I split my tibia and fibula apart at my ankle on my right foot, which is my forward foot as I skate/snowboard goofy foot. Intense instant pain. The ski patrol guy was a minute behind me and between the 3 of us are the last people still up the mountain. I'm only like a quarter the way down the hill. This place is literally in the process of shutting down for the night, the guy who runs the main lift was already gone, the only other ski patrol person was already at the bottom. Normally, they would put you on the toboggan and one would go in front and one behind and they would shuttle your broken mess down. I think this might have taken 45 minutes to get into motion, so I offered my own suggestion:

Ride down on my board like a sled and have these two on either side acting as brakes and me hanging on to their ski poles. It worked and by halfway down, we were getting good at our little arrangement. It was actually fun, despite the agonizing pain I was experiencing. The patrol used his radio to let the busses know that we were gonna be holding everyone up. We got down to the medical station, which the doc was fortunately still on the property. She got me in and knew I had big troubles. She gave me some serious painkiller and put me into an air cast and told me I should go to the ER tonight. I then had to get transported to the busses with my loyal ski patrol buddy on one side, and my biology teacher on the other, with my ski buddy carrying all the gear. I had held the bus up by at least half an hour...the other two busses already left actually. At least the bus was right up close to the lodge. I've never seen a vehicle this close, let alone a Greyhound Bus. I get on the bus and all tucked in, and got a little treat...the cafeteria had made me a little care package of greasy ski-lodge cafeteria cheeseburger and fries. Plus I had a big Slim Jim and some Pringles, so I was set for the hour ride home at least.

The part I haven't mentioned yet is that tomorrow was a special day. Like very special. Like I've been waiting for this day for months. We were supposed to be headed to Killington Vermont for a week long vacation with my cousin who is 10 days you get than me. We had a timeshare condo that was enormous, half my family wound up coming for at least a few days.

So instead of jumping in the car to head to Vermont, I'm jumping in the car to go to the hospital. I did wait until the morning though. I passed the fuck out when I got home. Partly from the event, partly from the food, partly from the narcotics. Slept like a baby though.

Didn't wake up like a baby. That shit was throbbing and all purple and swollen to three times normal. I met with a world class pediatric orthopedic surgeon and had to have multiple imaging scans as well as multiple X-rays. I was scheduled for surgery the following day and had to have 3 screws and a pin put in to wire my ass back together.

I did make it to Killington though...a few days late, and without my trusty Burton Twin 155, but I got up there.

That's right fellas....I destroyed my ankle on the last run of the night THE DAY BEFORE I WAS GOING TO KILLINGTON. Jesus. Still haven't rode that fucking mountain. They also made a day trip to Stowe. Good times. Fuckin bullshit if you ask me. No day trips to Stowe for me. Fuckin hell, I couldn't even go swimming in the assortment of indoor pools. I get to shoot pool and play Nintendo.

I had to have a second surgery to remove the pins and screws 6 weeks later too. Don't break your Tib/Fib apart. It's a pain in the 5 pound bass.

Ooh, this other time I got this crazy itch on my pinky toe. I kept scratching it. I looked down and had this little circular dot that looked like a blood blister. Weird. I woke up the next morning and it hurt like crazy. Like real bad. Nurse B takes a peek and my entire pinky toe is black and hard. Like rock hard and black as pitch. It looked like frostbite and was turning necrotic. She said "We're going to the hospital...get yourself ready, we're leaving in 15:mins"

I think I might have gotten a spider bite from a widow possibly? They gave me some hardcore IV antibiotics in the hospital. I legit thought I was gonna lose my toe. JET BLACK AMD HARD. Just weird shit. Fortunately the antibiotics worked amazing, and I was back to good within a day and half or less. I couldn't even walk though. It was hell.

Feet suck when shit ain't doing what it spota bee.

I also have had "jungle rot", which came to being after climbing a 50 foot pine tree with an equally big poison ivy vine wrapping around it. I cut through the tree and ivy mad times as you would climbing a tree for a tree job....and got shitloads of poison ivy sawdust in my boots. I permanently tattooed my boots with this shit and had to toss em out. I am prone to getting Jungle Rot now, especially if I get wet and stay wet. And it itches. I haven't had it in a few years at least.

Foot problems are epic. Would rather eat steak and shrimps and shoot guns with some nice hookers.

The following Storytime with Bubbles has been brought to you by Hookers n Blow™, the letter 7 and by viewers like you.

 

[Dr.Bubbles]

I used Kingsford Mesquite charcoal for the 4th of July burger fest at the beach. Amazing flavor.

I wonder if Kingsford changed the recipe when they came out with the 'Pro' grade shit. Old normal bricks are now Pro, and new normal bricks are compressed dog shit??

I bet it's something like that. Fuck corporations, it's just a race to the bottom where everyone loses except for the precious investors.

 

[bushmasterar15]

Angus bacon cheese burgers were on the menu last night.