"Moses parted the Red Sea, Oppenheimer split the atom, but "Bob" cut the crap." - Steve Antczak
"From now on, as of this moment, you can do whatever you want." - Rev. Willie at Slack Attack Devival, Dallas
"The toad may stand in the rain day and night, but its skin will never be smooth." - Malay proverb
"But after I lick that toad day and night, it'll sure as hell look smooth to me." - Dobbstown initiation oath
Rev. Wilds
"Give me Slack, or give me Apache helicopters, Sidewinder Missiles and nuclear warheads." - Rev. Ivan Stang getting all worked up on Hour of Slack radio broadcast
"How'd it be if J.R. "Bob" Dobbs gave you a molten lead enema as 'part of the satire'?" - Rev. Dr. Onan Canobite to hostile debunker caller
"It's the bizarre idiots that act smart." - Rev. Capt. H. M. Smith
"I think, therefore I'm going to have breakfast." - Charles Fort ("Bob's" third cousin)
"The dicks you can't see are always longer." - Dobbs, 1957, in his cups in a bar after discovering his wife Connie had been having an affair.
"Real sex is Fats Domino. Bad sex is... Pat Boone." - Rev. Bleepo Abernathy
"The difference between Heaven and Hell is which end of the pitchfork you're on." - Rev. Sheldon DeWehr
"So I says to him, I says: "Look. Either we all come from monkeys or we're supposed to be like this, and I don't like it either way." And he says, "Ich verstehe nicht." So I killed him. - Rev. Dr. Chris Gross
"You do not fuck with a doktor unless he offers you the vaseline personally!" - G. Gordon Gordon
"I'm going to ask you to exercise glands you never knew existed." - J.R. "Bob" Dobbs
"I am a man who pisses largely and frequently. This, they say, is a sign of great mental activity." - Henry Miller
"He's an asshole - but even assholes have dreams." - Sam Lowry in BRAZIL
