Mephisto Genetics Duckster does Mephisto

[Duckster]

A man was laying in bed with his new girlfriend.

After having great sex, she spent the next hour just scratching his nuts,
over and over, something she just seemed to love to do.

As he was enjoying it, 30 minutes later he turned and asked her, 'Why do
you love doing that?'

'Because,' she replied, 'I really miss mine.'


Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

 

[Duckster]

Ok so some of the following may be considered sexist and stereotypical, but you got to admit many truisms too. The equation sexist + stereotypical + truisms = humor is in play here. A money back guarantee to bring you at least 1 smile. Happy weekend all!


WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People --

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack...

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another petrol station loo because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Top hat & tails rental-$200.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about Star Trek.

A five-day holiday requires only one small bag.

You can open all your own jars.

If someone forgets to invite you,

He or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $4.99 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife..

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On December 24 in 25 minutes.

Men Are Just Happier People

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Shorty and Lofty.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $52.50. None of them will have anything smaller.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators...YES!!!

MONEY
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, razor, soap, and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

 

[Duckster]

Ok so update time. Leading off, we have the new addition Deep Blue C on day 5

Next up is the Sour Crack on day 29. She stretched 6" this past week and is now up to 11". She already is smelling stronger than the Sour Hound.

The Sour Hound is up to 17.5". Her buds continue to fill in and get their frost on.

With the three girls at different growth stages, I have been playing with the lights a bit. Sometimes I run the bloom spectrum, sometimes the veg., and sometimes both. I would prefer to run both all the time but the temps with get up to 95F after both have been running 5-6 hours. Does not seem to bother the plants but I'm a little concerned about toasting my light with no backup. I have been saving my pennies and will soon have enough to buy 2 Mars II 400W. As soon as I have these as backup, I plan to run both spectrums 18-6 and turn on the CO2.

 

[BayLee420]

Wouldn't worry about the girls in a warm box. You have the CO2. Sour Crack looks about set to put on some weight. Before you know it the Mephisto Genetics are GO! At the "Ready" now.

 

[Duckster]

Wouldn't worry about the girls in a warm box. You have the CO2. Sour Crack looks about set to put on some weight. Before you know it the Mephisto Genetics are GO! At the "Ready" now.
View attachment 539059

I'm thinking you're right. She's been growing about 1" per day. I normally don't see a lot of stretching until after they get a good flush at 30-35 days. She will get her flush in a couple of days. If she goes into the normal stretch mode after the flush, she's going to be a big girl. It's going to get crowded in the cab for a few weeks.

 

[Duckster]

A Florida woman stops alligator attack with Beretta pistol.

This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.

She was asked, what is the smallest caliber that you would trust to protect yourself? "A Beretta Jetfire, she answered!"

Here is her story in her own words:
"While out walking along the edge of a pond just outside of The Villages with my soon-to-be ex-husband, discussing property

Settlement and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft. alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky

water and began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was

extremely aggressive.

If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire .25 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today!
Just one shot to my husband's knee cap was all it took. The 'gator got him easily and I was able to escape by just walking

away at a brisk pace.
It's one of the best pistols in my collection!

Plus, the amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really incredible!"

Kinda brings a tear to your eye!

 

[Duckster]

If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
~Jay Leno~

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
~Henry Cate, VII~

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office
~Aesop~

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the
Union speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.
~Will Rogers~

Politicians are the same all over.
They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
~Nikita Khrushchev~

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President;
I'm beginning to believe it.
~Clarence Darrow~

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel,
go out and buy some more tunnel.
~John Quinton~

Why pay money to have your family tree traced;
go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.
~Author unknown~

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign
funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
~Oscar Ameringer~

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us,
I will stop telling the truth about them.
~Adlai Stevenson, 1952~

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
~Tex Guinan~

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter
to be left to the politicians.
~Charles de Gaulle~

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better
to change the locks.
~Doug Larson~

There ought to be one day -- just one -- when there is open season
on Congressmen.
~Will Rogers~

 

[Duckster]

Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm.

He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.

The 10 pm news was coming on...

The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a
large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Bob said, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the
edge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to
Bob, saying, "Fair's fair.. Here's your money."

Bob replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the
5 pm news, and so I knew he would jump.

"The blonde replied, "I did too, but didn't think he'd do it again."

Bob took the money.

 

[Nicker32]

Thanks again for the laughs!

 

[Duckster]

Thanks again for the laughs!

Glad ya liked some of them. Nothing like sharing a good laugh!