HEY POPS! You Know Your Old When:

A 30-year mortgage sounds like a pretty clever scam.

You no longer consider staying under the speed limit a challenge.

Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"

Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

A sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

"Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.


:smoking::haha::haha::biggrin::rofl::woohoo:


 
@pop22 You know your old when

:crying::crying:
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:pighug::pighug:

  • You and your teeth don't sleep together.:crying:


  • Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.:crying:


  • At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.


  • Your back goes out but you stay home.


  • When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.


  • It takes two tries to get up from the couch.


  • When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.


  • When happy hour is a nap.


  • When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.


  • When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.


  • When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.


  • When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.


  • Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.


  • It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.


  • Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.


  • Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.


  • You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.


  • The pharmacist has become your new best friend.


  • Getting lucky means you found your car in the parking lot.


  • The twinkle in your eye is only a reflection from the sun on your biofocals.


  • The iron in your blood turns to lead in your pants.


  • It takes twice as long to look half as good.


  • Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.


  • Your house catches fire and the first thing you grab is your Metamucil.


  • You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.


  • You get two invitations to go out on the same night and you pick the one that gets you home the earliest.


  • You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.


  • You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.


  • You get to the check-out line, see how long it is, and decide what you have in your buggy isn't worth the wait.


  • You have more patience, but actually it's just that you don't care anymore.


  • Rocking in a rocking chair feels like a roller coaster ride.


  • You confuse having a clear conscience with a bad memory.


  • You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.


  • You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.
Pops
:gary:
 
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