Vanessa: What are you doing?
Mike: Cleaning a flintlock musket from the revolutionary war while enjoying a little bacon and biscuits. This is what our forefathers died for.
Vanessa:Can't you do that in your den?
Mike: The bill of rights says I can do this wherever I want to do this.
Vanessa: Really? Well, what if your 2-year-old grandson walked in here?
Mike: And overpowers me?
Vanessa: Your back could be turned. You could be reaching for a piece of bacon.
Mike: Yeah. He could grab the musket out of my hand, shove me to the ground, pour the correct amount of powder in here, take the ramrod, jam it down there, get a musket ball, put that in there, take the ramrod back out, jam that down there, half-cock it, put a percussion cap in there, fully cock the thing, and somehow shoot me in the foot.
Vanessa: Just keep the safety on.
Mike: Honey, this whole gun is a safety. It's a miracle we're not speaking British right now.