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Afternoon my friend :pass: Doing well, thanks

Oh no, no sad face….he’s got super cute excited dog who gives kisses down pat. Plus he’ll jump up and gently put his front paws on their shoulders and hug. It’s got damn pathetic. But an interesting feature to have in a dog. To be honest, he’s about the best wing man I’ve ever had, as I’m sure you can imagine….
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I fully get ya!

You know I made that comment about the 6th graders girls and my German Shepherd as a joke, but it was pretty true!
I had her trained very well! The 'nice' Lady looked totally different than the ' Defending' Lady. The changes were quite quite dramatic, even for me that was with her all the time.
The Nice Lady who is so damn adorable! German shepherds can be extremely Expressive with their eyes and ears positioning and she would just lather it on with the cuteness!
One of the more amazing things about this girl was her typical 'German precision'!

We had a little ritual when greeting people. I would motion to her to go to the person I was pointing at and she would approach them and sit while not losing sight with their eyes. You could see her positioning and repositioning herself until she was absolutely perfectly positioned. Completely uniform and with that just adorable expression on her face. You could see her kind of cycle through a couple of looks until she came upon her 'adorable' one. It was absolutely hilarious on my part to watch. Only a very few extremely observant people caught what she was doing. All of them were adults.
When I would tell her to shake she would raise her right paw up and position it perfectly, the exact same way every single time, and then the tongue came out on cue.

I really hadn't noticed all the nuances to her in our little greeting ritual, until one night. I was a kid with my German shepherd as a friend of a much older person at a party at a rock pit. Yep! I was a little kid around a bunch of older teenagers/adults.
Some of the older guys didn't like a little a kid At their party, but since my older friend was a girl, it kind of smoothed it over a little bit. :eyebrows::funny:

It made it that much better with the girls too!:eyebrows::haha:

We were just starting out long our greeting routine and we definitely got to work out this night! Well naturally this being the 70s come there's a little bit of cannabis going around. The friend I was with had some particularly potent smoke. I didn't hit a whole lot, but it was good sativa!

So as I'm going along and we are meeting a bunch of people I start noticing these little things she's doing. Well my first thought is that I'm high as hell and no way this dog is doing this, really!,:crying:

So I go over to my friend and the whisper in Her ear,...........1 to make sure Lady can't hear what I'm saying and 2 To make the other girls sort of jealous.......... I know! Give me a break! I was a kid!....................... And I asked her to watch this next encounter very closely and just verify what I'm seeing. Like I said! it was good weed!

Well, we go up to the next girl and Lady goes up in front to greet. With the surprise look all my friends face in her hand moving to her mouth, gave me quite a dramatic confirmation that what I had been seeing was true.
Before the night ending, I was sitting in a chair drinking Coca-cola with Lady by my side as the girls were coming up to pet Lady and shake her hand!

You never forget your first love, whether it's human or animal. My lady and I were inseparable for a long time from when she was I think 4 or 6 months old. She went absolutely everywhere with me. She was there waiting for me when I came home from school. I would drop my books off in my room and go to the back porch. I would open the door and she would be sitting there at her parade rest........ In that German shepherd perfection.
I would pat my chest and she would jump up and give me a hug and a cold nose to the neck as a kiss. And then get down and back in position. And that was her routine. Every day the exact same thing. She was an amazing dog!

And man................... the damage I could have done with her once I got my truck in high school! :eyebrows::eyebrows::eyebrows::eyebrows::eyebrows:

But this Wild Bill Tale of Old, does not end well! :face:

As you may or may not remember, this was the dog that my sister gave away. The only time that we were EVER apart from when she was a pup. My sister was to feed and water the dog in our backyard. That was it.
what a way to end a little vacation, with me jumping out of the car and going to the gate to the backyard to find my dog. She's nowhere to be found. And there's no food out or the empty bowls.

Well, that was my first time of ever experiencing blind and utter rage! Luckily for my sister, most of that blind part of the rage had been exhausted by the time I rode by bicycle over to her place of business all the way across town.:crying:

That was my father's son and I was taught not to hit women. While I didn't hit her with my fists, it damn sure didn't prevent me from slamming her with my mouth........................................ I know! Shut up! I don't mean it that way! Damn it! I'm stoned off my ass and that's good enough!

In the interest of turning this already long ass Wild Bill Tale of Old a little shorter, My night ended with the need of my Father coming by to pick me up in order for the police not to take me in.:gassy::crying:

I will say though that the police did arrive at the correct moment. It was just about going to get interesting with the ball headed S O B she was married to. He was muuuuuuuuuch older than she! My dad always told me not to start nothing, but if something happens, you better finish it. He was just about to 'start something' and then the Popo drove up!



The End!................................ Not really, but for today's purposes.............. We're good!


OK I'm really out of here this time! Enough this rabbit hole crap!:funny::funny::funny::funny::face::face::face:
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Be sure to stay tuned for the next Wild Bill Tale of Old!
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Same Bat Anytime!
Same Bat Channel!


Ohh yeah I'm stoned!
Yep yep yep!
I'm so far out there, I can see that space is curved!:biggrin::haha::haha::haha::haha::haha::haha::haha:


Bye fer reals!​
 

    idiopathic neuropathy

    points: 10
    I was so high reading your post last night, and I was left speechless. It took me twice as long to read than normal. You've a great memory and story telling skills, even under the influence---writing for me can be rather arduous. Much respect!
Good Morfnoevight All! EO.

I went to get a piece of the upside down Mango cake last Saturday and could not find it? It turns out Ms. MOG was not happy with the way it came out and she tossed it :rofl: she is making a new one today :drool: It is hard on my blood sugar.
 
I went to my mom's for easter lunch. Her boyfriends daughter was there, she's about 10 years older than me. We've not gotten along in the past, she's kind of a bitch. But I've not seen her or her family in 7 or 8 years because she pissed me off by being shitty towards my kids, so I just made it a point to avoid her. But then I was invited to easter so I said ok screw it, I'll go and be nice.

I was talking about my garden and getting ready for spring, and she said something about growing mushrooms. I said I have grown some in the past, but wasn't this year. She said she's looking into growing them, but hadn't yet.

Then she says "Do you have the monotubs and stuff you need?"

I said "I've only ever heard of using monotubs for one type of mushroom...."

and she just looks at me and I said "Um...I've only heard of using monotubs when people grow magic mushrooms..."

Her face turned bright red, and she starts backpedaling hard. It was fucking hilarious.

There is no way she hadn't researched growing magic mushrooms and ran across that term, and I called her on it.
 
She has very exacting standards with her baking. It has been quite an adventure as she has learned to bake GF. Not a lot gets wasted but some just does not make the cut. She felt the cake was undercooked and therefore disgusting. I thought it was fine :shrug: I have some goat milk and goat butter caramels hidden out in the freezer, I only eat them when the Ms. is not around. She made them for me and did not like something about them and she tossed them, I rescued them and stashed them in the freezer. I like them :haha:
 
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