@WildBill call Home....
...that bath watter must be cold and murky by now.....time for a coffee.......
I'm here and alive............at least that's what the pain tells me. The pain is not helping my depression......understatement of the century! Shots in the spine helped for a short while, at least it was long enough not to test a Glaser Safety load on my skull.
Not a word for the pain, except for familiar. Not too unlike when I was first injured and a few days after coming outta the coma. Coma, I'd almost welcome that at the moment!
Went to the ER and actually got something other than just morphine, which does nothing for my pain, but helps slightly with spazing of the muscles. Didn't leave with any paperwork to tell me what all they did, but I think I remember them telling me two different shots in the spine in several places. I assume something like lidocaine and some sort of steroidal concoction.
Brain fog is prominate atm and I hate that crap. I guess my serotonin levels are all screwed up along with adrenalin fatigue and the depression raging like a MF.
Called the Vet Crisis line this AM. Fuggin' 92F kept calling me from it's locker.....put it up a few weeks ago with a really bad night. Got the same sillyass retarded question I've heard too many times, "Have you made plans to kill yourself?" I gave the same answer, "WTF is there to plan?" That's the biggest problem with crisis lines dealing with Vets. Too many have seen that fugger with the sickle.........some many times. After a while, he's not that damn scary. At least she didn't send some hickass LEO out for a 'Welfare Check'. These numbnutts around here have no or don't use any sort of de-escalation skills. I really didn't/don't want to make the news.
It's just
really rough at the moment in so many ways and I have to search
hard for any positive points in daily life. I'm just trying to get by the next hour..........at least I've got up to an hour!
edit.............Thanks for everyone's concern and well wishes.