Live Stoner Chat Things that make you LOL...Pics,Videos,Jokes....

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There was this preacher who started a ministry. He had the gift of prophecy, and he sought out other prophets who also had the gift. His ministry grew large and prosperous.

One day, he became concerned after reading a story about pockets of cannibalism in Africa. He decided to do something about it. He said to his prophets, "I am sending you to Africa to convert the cannibals." He got together a planeload of them and sent them off to Africa.

Soon, word came that all his prophets had disappeared. As he was grieving over this, his accountant arrived with even more bad news. "Reverend, you have spent too much on this mission, and your church is now in the red."

The reverend replied, "Oh my lord, first I hear that all my missionaries are gone, and now my church is in deficit. How can this be?"

"Simple," the accountant replied. "The cannibals are eating up the prophets!"
 
Headstone of Russell J. Larsen in the Logan City Cemetery, Logan, Utah.
I wonder if he died knowing he won the 'Coolest Headstone' contest?
His five rules for a happy life are below.


FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home,
cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you
laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust,
and doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed,
and likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other
or you could end up dead like me.
 
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said,
"Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.
 
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