Live Stoners Things that make you LOL...Pics,Videos,Jokes....

PMSL that is too funny
 
OK lets see if I can remember this and it translates well and I can tell it right!! With a lead in like that it better e good, eh!!


So anyways I went down to the local hospital to visit a friend in rehab, he was drying out a bit as it were. Now at this particular hospital rehab was in the mental health facility in the restricted wing. After some directions I headed down a hallway and turned a corner. When I came around that corner I almost ran into this guy that was standing there. He was dressed in a hospital gown and seemed to be pretending to make a putt on the golf course. I said "excuse me" and he immediately turned to me and in a loud voice said "Hi! I'm Tiger Woods. As soon as I make this putt; I'm gettin' outa here!!" I kinda shrugged and mumbled "ya sure" or something and continued on my way. Came to another corner and wouldn't you know there was another guy in a hospital gown, but he was pretending to be swinging a bat. I tried to make my way around him but he stopped me and said "Hi! I'm Sammy Sosa, as soon as I hit another home run; I'm gettin' outa here!!" "Ok, OK" I said and kept on walking. About halfway down the hall I came to an open door, I looked in and saw another man. The room was empty except for a gurney and on that gurney was the guy. The guy was start naked, naked with an erection! The guy was trying to balance a peanut on the head of his erect penis. I looked at the guy lying there and he looked back at me and said "Hi, I'm fucking nuts, and I'm never getting out of here!!"
 
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This one goes out t`all the Ladies (especially married ones!) :smile::xlaugh:
 
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Bleedin` cheek! Coming over here, using are webs, eating are flies and clogging up our flucking plugholes! They`re an absolute shower!!! "astros Wink wink.."...:Gary:
 
A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint, When a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, 'Hey Koala! What are you doing?' The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.' So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints. After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river. The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned over too far and fell into the river. A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?' The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he had been sitting with the koala in the tree, smoking a joint, but got too stoned and fell into the river while taking a drink... The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said, 'Hey you!' So the koala looked down at him and said, 'Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude... How much water did you drink!?'
 
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:grin:
 
[video=youtube_share;gGpV6y1O9UY]http://youtu.be/gGpV6y1O9UY[/video]
 
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