My crazy questions about Cannabis experience,pain & panic with OCD and possibly PTSD.

[Kakarot]

Crazy ? about smoking and OCD guys are you ready ? Ok I smoked for probably 5 years straight every day through high school like a half or more of the dirty Mexican butt weed with occasional chronic then I started having bad anxiety which led to panic attacks which led to me quitting for about 10 years. Ok April of 15 I started growing but still did not smoke but eventually I wanted to consume again for spiritual/quality of life purposes. In July of 15 I started smoking again, same amount,same time every day I have not missed a day since July 12 of 2015. The crazy thing is sometimes I get really intense highs. I am talking out of body heart racing highs that make you ? reality and your own life. I could do without the racing heartbeat but it is not as bad now as it was then. For some reason now Cannabis makes me feel stripped and exposed but I like it because I cant open up and feel without it. I have panic disorder with agoraphobia, I have kidney problems that cause a lot of pain. I also take Alprazolam and Oxycodone scripted. I have been prescribed them for probably 7 years and I have taken my doses at the same time everyday for 7 years now. Only the dosage of the Oxycodone has increased due to tolerance, I take 80mg of instant release Oxycodone a day in form of 1 20mg pill 4x daily the Alprazolam or Xanax has been 1mg 3x daily now for 8 years without the need for dose increase. Flat out I do not abuse medication, I take them same time exact dose every day and I am the same way with consuming Cannabis. Nothing has ever helped me get in touch with myself mentally and connect with others and actually have MY FEELINGS back like Cannabis does I am just wondering if anyone else has experienced the crazy out of body highs that when they are over actually make you feel more in tune with your self and just life in general, I know I am rambling and prolly went in 90 different directions lol thank you guys, I love the community here so many good people, much luv guys and please excuse the horrible run on sentence/paragraphs lol.

 

[Root]

Hi @Kakarot ...thank you for sharing. I personally have never had a crazy high, other than mind racing and not being able to sleep.
Cannabis does have a way of helping us get in touch with ourselves.. . I know I feel much more "normal" when my saturation level is at a certain point.
Since you are growing your own now, you;ll be able to find the strain(s) that work the best for you!