Jeez Red, I saw that thread title come up when I hit New Posts and I got heart palpitations, thinking here we go again. :no: Then I read your post. :clap:
AFN isn't perfect, never was and never will be. We've been through a lot, first TBM, then Chad, then the defection of some key members. But we're still here and that's due to the great members we have and our fantastic mod team. I've been doing forums for almost 7 years now. First as a member, then a mod, then an admin. I've been on about 8-10 different forums and none of them compare to AFN. Where else is a new grower going to be welcomed and encouraged like they are here? Nowhere. Most forums look down on new growers and they are often abused, in some cases by the admins and mods. AFN is about the vibe and while it's suffered these past few months, it's alive and well.
Anytime you bring together so many people, from so many different places, with such differing view points, there is always going to be disagreement. It's the old saying, opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one. It's sometimes difficult to hold your tongue when you strongly disagree with what has been said. My mother taught me two valuable lessons that are worth sharing. The first was "consider the source and don't lower yourself to their level". If someone is being a dick and you respond in kind, you are lowering yourself to their level and are no better than they are. Always take the high road and you'll be a better person for it. The other is "if you can't say something good, don't say anything at all". That one in particular has served me well. Often my gut wants to strike out and respond in kind. I've learned to hold my tongue and by not saying something negative have avoided many confrontations over the years. When someone gave me trouble, she also used to tell me to "kill them with kindness". To me, that fits right in with the AFN vibe.