Cheers Elle,
It won't be long before I am a Penguin Grand Master in the art of Zenguinism. It is the easiest path to enlightenment in the known multiverse. You don't even have to do very much. Basicly one just sends me a rather large PayPal transaction, chant "I am a Penguin, all is well in the world, I am at Peace" for a few mins each day, and after a few years you should notice a rather large hole in your bank account and I might send you certificate. But probably not.
Form an orderly queue please chums, no pushing or shoving............................