I've just heard the patio door click followed by hubby saying aye...get out you dirty arsed twat.....
The Princess has farted and poisoned the cabin.......
My uncle's English bulldog would come into the shop in the winter time and lay by the wood stove. Missy would get all comfortable, fall asleep and then proceed with her World War 1 gas attack!
If you heard my uncle say, "God Dammit Missy!", you had better run for the door!


That silly ass wife of his would mainly feed her from the dining room table!
The stench was 1000 times worse than a sanitary tank on a submarine!
I remember getting in my first job of replacing a tank level indicator on a sanitary tank on the USS San Francisco. The boat is supposed to clean and flush the tank in preparation for the job. When I went down to the job site, it was ridiculously filthy. I went to the chief engineer to get him to have someone redo the job. When I found him he was talking with the commanding officer, discussing the progress of various jobs aboard the boat. As I was waiting for him to finish his update, he gave an incorrect status on one of my other jobs I had a board the boat. It was among the mission critical jobs I had a board that boat, so I felt I needed to properly inform the commanding officer of the status.
So I politely interrupted them and informed the commanding officer of the proper status. The chief engineer did not like me correcting him and took offense. He made a half-assed remark about me thinking my shit don't stink and I replied, "I'm pretty sure my wife would disagree with you! Just as well, I'm going to disagree with you signing off that your sanitary tank has been cleaned and washed out.
CHENG, YOUR shit DOES stink!"
I could just tell that absolutely pissed him off to no end, the quite rapid reddening of his face and the expansion of his blood vessels in his neck told the tale. So to add insult to injury in front of his commanding officer, "CHENG, this is the third time you have fraudulently sighed a step in a SUBSAFE controlled work package on one of my jobs in the last month!"
" It is lack of attention to details and total disregard of quality assurance procedures, such as this, that almost led to the sinking of the USS Sargo a few months ago."
I turned to the commanding officer and said, " Sir, can I be assured that you will handle this matter?" He nodded yes and I left for my next problem child!



